The Humorous Verse of Lewis Carroll, Lewis Carroll

MY FAIRY

(From Useful and Instructive Poetry, 1845)

I have a fairy by my side
Which says I must not sleep,
When once in pain I loudly cried
It said "You must not weep."

If, full of mirth, I smile and grin,
It says "You must not laugh;"
When once I wished to drink some gin
It said "You must not quaff."

When once a meal I wished to taste
It said "You must not bite;"
When to the wars I went in haste
It said "You must not fight."

"What may I do?" at length I cried,
Tired of the painful task.
The fairy quietly replied,
And said "You must not ask."

Moral: "You mustn't."

PUNCTUALITY

(From Useful and Instructive Poetry)

Man naturally loves delay,
And to procrastinate;
Business put off from day to day
Is always done too late.

Let every hour be in its place
Firm fixed, nor loosely shift,
And well enjoy the vacant space,
As though a birthday gift.

And when the hour arrives, be there,
Where'er that "there" may be ;

Uncleanly hands or ruffled hair
Let no one ever see.
If dinner at " half-past" be placed,
At "half -past" then be dressed.

If at a "quarter-past" make haste
To be down with the rest.
Better to be before your time,
Than e'er to be behind;

To ope the door while strikes the chime,
That shows a punctual mind.

Moral:

Let punctuality and care
Seize every flitting hour,
So shalt thou cull a floweret fair,
E'en from a fading flower.

MELODIES

(From Useful and Instructive Poetry) I

There was an old farmer of Readall,
Who made holes in his face with a needle,
They went far deeper in
Than to pierce through the skin,
And yet strange to say he was made beadle.

There was an eccentric old draper,
Who wore a hat made of brown paper,
It went up to a point,
Yet it looked out of joint,
The cause of which he said was "vapour."

III

There was once a young man of Oporta,
Who daily got shorter and shorter,
The reason he said
Was the hod on his head,
Which was filled with the heaviest mortar.

His sister, named Lucy O'Finner,
Grew constantly thinner and thinner;
The reason was plain,
She slept out in the rain,
And was never allowed any dinner.