Mr Green desperately needed to find a new nanny for his children. In the four weeks since their last nanny left, he found himself actually having to talk to them, provide them with meals and pay attention to them himself. And all this just had to stop. He had a job at a law firm helping rich people avoid paying their taxes. He could not be expected to look after his children as well.
The reason Mrs Green did not look after the children was because she was not there. Mr Green said she had died in a boating accident. But the children were not entirely sure this was true. Yes, there had been a funeral. Yes, there had been an obituary in the paper. But people on television programs died all the time and that never stopped them from coming back in the next series. So they had not totally given up hope that their mother had just got fed up with their father, which was a sentiment they could fully understand.
There were three Green children. The eldest, Derrick, was a fit boy of eleven. He was always sun-tanned or muddy. Either way, he always looked brown. And he always had long messy hair but never went to the barber because the only time his father ever spoke to him was to yell, 'Go and get your hair cut! You look like a scruffbag!'
The second child, Samantha, was a girl. And, as such, had even fewer conversations with her father than Derrick. She was a nice girl and pretty enough, but not so much so as to cause a fuss. Her chief characteristic was that she worried all the time. To be tair, she did have a lot to worry about. Girls whose mothers have drowned in boating accidents would be foolish not to worry.
The third child, Michael, was only seven but, in many ways, he was the most confident. He could not remember his mother at all. So he was not saddened or worried about her loss. Derrick and Samantha bore the brunt of having to deal with Mr Green. So Michael was able to get on with his life unhindered. As a result he was a little on the tubby side. Because Michael's favourite hobby was stealing food from the kitchen, then sitting and eating it under a bush in the garden.
On the whole they were three well-mannered, largely self-sufficient children. And they would have been a doddle for anyone to take care of. Mr Green should have found a nanny in half a second flat. But there was a problem. Not only did Mr Green believe that rich people should not pay taxes. He also believed that he, personally, should not have to pay for anything. He begrudged giving money to a nanny. In his opinion child care should be entirely government provided. Paid for out of the taxes his clients never paid.
But even more than that, Mr Green deeply resented the idea that he had to pay to advertise for a nanny. There was so much unemployment in the world that, in his opinion, nannies should be beating down his door. So despite the fact that he desperately wanted a nanny, he did not have one because he was too cheap to put an advertisement in a newspaper. All Mr Green had done was paint a sign himself with the words NANNY WANTED - ENQUIRE WITHIN, attach it to a stake and bang it into the front lawn. So far the sign had sat there for three weeks without a single knock at the door.
