Dear Cupid,

When did everyone start falling in love? I swear a few months ago almost everyone I knew was single but now it feels like someone hit some kind of switch and everyone but me is in a relationship. My insta's entirely couple photos and my friends are all pairing off and it's not that I'm not happy for them, but it makes me feel left behind. I want to fall in love, but every time I see how easy it is for everyone else, the more hopeless I feel.

-Hopefully not-so Hopeless Romantic

Buckle up Lakesmith, because like most of my best advice, this one starts with a history lesson.

Did you know the term "hopeless romantic" is centuries old? We see "hopeless" and "romantic" appear together way back in the 1855 novel The Double Marriage (I haven't read it yet so please don't take this as a recommendation), but it's more optimistic "in love with love" definition didn't start cropping up until the early 1900s. Still, I think we can see it throughout history.

What were Romeo and Juliet (again, don't recommend. I prefer romances where the leads get to live through the ending, thank you very much) if not hopeless romantics? Plus, Shakespeare stole a lot of that plot from a mid 1500s poem so we know it goes back at least that far. I think hopeless romanticism is ingrained in the human psyche. What good is a story with no conflict? Who better to root for than a character who decides to be in love with love itself despite all of the trials that come along with it?

I guess what I'm saying is, it might suddenly seem like everybody suddenly and effortlessly started slipping into relationships, but that's just how high school works. Being in love with love and unable to find it isn't something unique to social media or suddenly being forced into an echo chamber of teenaged hormones. There's been no grand cultural shift you missed out on, I promise. Hopeless romanticism is as old as time and all of our ancestors somehow got through it unscathed enough that we got to exist, so you've got this.

You didn't give much information on what you're personally struggling to find love, but I guess my advice would be to keep putting yourself out there. Being a hopeless romantic doesn't mean your chances at falling in love are hopeless and just because it seems to come easier to people around you doesn't mean you won't eventually figure it out yourself. Barely any of the best love stories start with the protagonist confident that they're going to fall in love and the ones that do almost always involve some kind of first-act heartbreak.

The first step to falling in love is being willing to unclip your harness and you clearly believe in love already, so what's there to fear? I promise if you let yourself be open to the fall, someone'll be there to catch you.

Yours forever,

Cupid

kaydenisawesome

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